The Collection
by Midwich Cuckoo
Summary: Pinhead has a collection he keeps in secret from Kirsty.


**Disclaimer:** I have no rights to "Hellraiser", of course. **Beta:** Moviemom44.

" **The Collection."**

Kirsty Cotton strolled through the endless maze of the Labyrinth. Her mood was far from a good one. Anyone could easily see the new queen of the Cenobites was extremely upset. Although she walked with slow, measured steps, trying to calm herself, there was no mistaking that her eyes seemed to hurl lightning bolts and her dark hair was disheveled. She knew she should be happy – she was now the wife of Pinhead, the Black Pope of Hell himself, which in practice made her the queen of the whole Labyrinth – but Kirsty was definitely not the picture of perfect marriage happiness. One look at her fierce face revealed this easily.

She was still fuming over what she had just overheard in the apartment she and Pinhead shared. She was just about to walk through the door when what she heard made her stop dead in her tracks, one foot still poised in the air. Kirsty Cotton held her breath and prayed that neither her husband nor Chatterer – the person to whom Pinhead was talking – would notice her presence. She carefully put her foot down as quietly as her shoes would allow. She held her breath, hoping the two Cenobites didn't catch the tiny sound, but she had to risk it. The last thing she needed was to lose her balance and go crashing to the floor. Not that she cared about being hurt. No, she didn't want to be discovered. If Pinhead knew she was there, he would stop revealing his secrets. She didn't want to miss a word that her cheating bastard of a husband was saying to his companion. Kirsty Cotton – no, now Kirsty Spencer, although now she wondered whether she should have married Pinhead and taken his last name, something she never had a single doubt about until this very moment – greedily pricked up her ears, trying to catch every word.

"I gathered the whole collection of those beauties in my secret room," Pinhead was saying proudly, not realizing there was someone at the threshold doing her best not to burst with anger. "Kirsty doesn't know about them. It's my sweet little secret she isn't ever going to find out. She would be jealous as hell if she knew how it pleases me to spend time with them. With all my beauties. I love all of them. Hell, Chatterer, I think I sometimes like spending time with them even more than with Kirsty."

Pinhead knew Chatterer couldn't speak to answer him; he could only bang his bared teeth together, but Pinhead didn't care, immersed in his sweet fantasies. "Yes, I think I'll go there in a moment to spend some quality time with all my girls," he announced, not caring if anyone – for example his own wife; it was her own apartment, after all – could hear him. "I'm going to go to see Lily," he said dreamily. "She's my newest addition. She is really beautiful. Maybe she's a bit short and stocky but I love her most. Or Violet. I love to sink my face in her fluffy hair adorned with flowers and inhale her sweet scent."

Kirsty shivered. She clenched her fists. She decided she certainly did have to get some flowers herself to adorn her own hair like this – to be a match for this Violet, whoever she was. Maybe Pinhead kidnapped some human women from Earth to keep as his slaves, because he was bored with just one ordinary one, whether she was the queen of the Labyrinth itself now or not.

"Or Rose, the Australian one. I just love cupping her… cups." Pinhead didn't even try to hide the licentiousness in his voice. Chatterer clicked his bared teeth once, more approvingly. The woman at the threshold pretended she didn't hear anything. She kept listening.

"Or… Olive. She and her… pincushions. Yes, that's what I'll call them. I love to caress her pincushions and hug them to my face. It gives me – but please, don't tell Kirsty – a pleasure even bigger than she can give me. My wife is great but she doesn't have any pins herself."

Kirsty, almost close to fainting and red all over her face, whether it was adorned with pins or not like the face of her husband, decided to get some pins herself. Whether on her face or her… pincushions if her cheating husband called those parts like that. And if he liked them to be encrusted with pins all over. She looked down at her décolletage. There were no pins on there. Well, no wonder he preferred this Olive. Pincushions. Big pincushions covered with big pins all over. Big deal. She tried to catch her breath.

"Yes, all of them are great," she heard her husband say. "Dahlia is so thin. I always wonder that I don't break her when I'm with her. She's so subtle, so tall and thin. Robin is also a good girl, my Bahamas beauty. Or Scarlet, the one I met in California. Yes, my beauties are from all over the world… Like that new one, my cute Irish red-head…"

Kirsty didn't stay to hear any words of praise concerning the charms of the body of the newest ginger haired addition to her husband's secret collection of girls. She couldn't take it any longer. She left, turning on her heel, her face flushed with anger. A secret collection in Pinhead's hidden secret room. "Kirsty can't find out." "More pleasure than Kirsty could give me." Pincushions, big deal. Who would have thought?

She didn't come back for a long time, wandering the mazes of the mysterious dimension she now called home. She was on her way back when she noticed her husband, rushing from their apartment and making his way towards another part of the Labyrinth. Kirsty suspected it was the place where he kept his girls. But she didn't follow him; she wasn't ready to face him yet.

The next time she saw him was an hour later when she – and all the inhabitants of the Labyrinth – heard the familiar buzzing that was a sign that someone managed to solve the Lemarchand box. The inhabitants of the dimension – herself included - came to welcome him at the gates of the hellish place which would now be his home, whether he liked it or not. She didn't even care who he was. Some moron from Los Angeles. Obese, bald, thick glasses. Nothing special. Kirsty wished it were a woman. Maybe she could join Pinhead's collection to be tortured in his secret chamber for the rest of eternity. Kirsty wouldn't feel bad for her for this. Not even at all. She remained still and silent all the time until it was time to leave.

"Elliott, I think I'm going to stay here for a while," she said sweetly to her husband, trying to sound as casual as possible. "I'm bored with the Labyrinth, so I'd like to spend some time here." He agreed and she stayed, wasting no time in finding the nearest nightclub. The Florentine Gardens" one. She took a triumphant look at all the men inside and smiled sweetly at them. She knew it was the time for her sweet revenge. Pinhead had a collection? She was going to get a collection on her own, too. She would 'collect' as many as possible in this one night. Yes, revenge would be very sweet indeed.

In the morning, Kirsty finally came back, looking very happy. "Good morning, my husband," she said, smiling triumphantly.

"Did you have a good time?" he asked.

"Oh, yes," Kirsty assured him with a shark-like, wide smile. "I had a great time out there, believe me. I met so many interesting folks. So many. You wouldn't believe how many interesting folks one can well… come to know during one single night. In just one single 'garden'." Her smile got wider. "Let's see if I can manage to remember the names of all of them. Aaron, Lee, Sheldon, Wilcox, Teddy." She extended a finger for each name she said, counting them off one by one. "Heck, even some dwarf in a funny cap. So many. There was even a major among them, but I forgot his name."

"Major Cholla?" The voice of her husband took her back to reality.

"What?"

"That's the name you are looking for. Major Cholla. And the dwarf in a cap was Dwarf Turk's Cap Cactus. Well, my child, I do admit you have a great taste in cacti. You managed to remember all those names. I didn't know you like cacti as well. I'm sure you will manage to remember all the names soon. Aaron's Beard Prickly Pear, Lee's Pincushion, Sheldon's Pincushion, Wilcox Fishhook Cactus, Teddy-Bear Cactus… well, well, you are a natural. Let me show you something." Pinhead took his wife's hand. He moved her out of the apartment and took her to the place she saw him going to, after she came out after overhearing Pinhead's conversation with Chatterer. He led her to a small secret chamber. It held nothing but shelves on which numerous cacti sat in their pots.

"Look," he said proudly. "This is my secret collection of cacti. I decided to show it to you now… but why didn't you tell me you are interested in cacti, too? I would have joined you on the trip to the Los Angeles Cacti Garden to show you all the cacti. I had no idea you went to visit it. It is indeed very close to the place that moron who summoned us lived in. And these are my beautiful cactuses. Red Easter Lily Cactus." He waved his hand showing her the stocky cactus sitting on the shelf on the left. "Violet Crown Cactus." This one was endowed with numerous thorns – so fine, yet so dense they seemed more fluffy than sharp. And small pink flowers were growing out of the bush. "Rose's Claret-Cup. I got this one in Australia; I took it from that guy who solved the Lemarchand box some time ago. And this is Olive's Pincushion…"

Kirsty felt a burst of hysterical laughter swelling in her chest, her chest that was not adorned with pins like Pinhead's head and Olive's … well, cushions but it didn't matter much at this moment.

"Dahlia-Rooted Cereus", Pinhead called the one that was a tangle of incredibly thin twigs. "Robin Tree Cactus. You see, all of those come from all over the world. This one is from the Bahamas. And this is Scarlet Bugler, a native of California. And this is… but what is so funny about it, my child?" asked Pinhead, surprised to see his bride laughing hysterically. "And this is my newest addition; the famous Irish Red-Head. But wait, why are you laughing? Oh, dear, you fainted!"


End file.
